We really have only one rule, which we borrowed from Paul Wheaton who runs the permies.com forum: Be Nice!
We don’t accept dominance of one human over another. Being a leader has nothing to do with applying force, but instead with compassion, setting examples, cooperation, care etc. Being a worker doesn’t mean you have to follow orders, but instead it means you try to help by using your energy in the best way you can.
Community is building mutual respect, appreciation and mutual care. That creates a trusted and stable environment for all members. Any form of initiating violence or force (physical and/or psychological) towards other team members we consider unacceptable. (This is often called the Non Agression Principle, or NAP)
Conflicts mostly grow from little things that did not get resolved in a nice way when they could have. If you consider that when you feel angry, things get easier to solve. You could have prevented your anger by being helpful and honest before. It’s never too late to correct such a situation. Everyone at EcoGay has a mentor. When you feel something is difficult to resolve, talk to him so he can help you figure things out.
When you see a job not done, consider it yours. If you need help with it, ask for it. If nobody wants to help, bring it up at the next group meeting, because maybe there were reasons why it was not being done. Sometimes we simply let nature take care of a problem, sometimes it’s just a low priority thing. At the same time, maybe it was something that was overlooked before and you bringing it up is of great help.
Personal relationships and spirituality are private matters. Each member can follow his own path without interference from the larger community. The opposite is also true, try not to force yourself or your spiritual beliefs on other people. If you feel you need help with anything private, ask your mentor or someone else you trust.
In the end this is all about just being nice. To be respectful, friendly, helpful and honest. If you have a bad day or two, everyone will understand when you’re generally a nice person. And if you disagree with someone or something, that’s fine too. That’s why we decide things based on informed consent at EcoGay.